If I’m extra sarcastic with you it probably means I’m flirting with you or you really annoy me and I can’t handle your shit
Have fun figuring out which
“I still love you” is the saddest fucking sentence in the whole world
ummmm p sure “the guac costs extra” is actually sadder
If a single teacher can’t teach all the subjects
Then how do they expect a single student to learn all the subjects fuck
- me: i don't want to have kids
- every adult within 100 mile radius: nonseNSE!! you'll end up having them in a few years!!! kids!!! mANY KIDS!! wonderful things you will love them! can''t not have kids?!!¿ chILDREN!
once i dated a guy who stopped talking to me for a month and i found out he didn’t like me anymore but he was too scared to dump me so he just ignored me and i spammed his facebook with wiki links on how to break-up with your girlfriend
"This is why you can’t trust women! They’re so good at makeup and wear it to fool guys into thinking they’re hot!"
shit. girls he’s on to us *washes off makeup to reveal lizard face and climbs up a wall* we will return with a new disguise. soon the power of earthly men will fall
WHEN YOU’RE LEANING OFF YOUR BED TO GRAB SOMETHING AND YOU TRY TO GET BACK UP ONLY REALIZE YOU’VE LEANED TO FAR AND THERE’S JUST THAT FEELING OF SHAME AS YOU LET YOUR BODY SLIDE OFF THE BED BECAUSE YOU COULDN’T PULL YOURSELF BACK UP IN TIME